August 14, 2018
Vampari Diary 1: Arriving in London
31 January 2018: My first day in London. Ish.
The bras I washed didn’t dry.
So before all the excitement of my trip to London, I need to stop at the laundromat. So for the first half hour of the day, I watched my bras tumble in the drier. The clasps came undone and I had twelve minutes of panic, begging to the Drier Gods that the clasps wouldn’t snag on anything and wouldn’t tear right before my trip. That wouldn’t be a great start.
Luckily, they didn’t.
A couple of hours later, with dry bras, I ran out of my house so I wouldn’t miss any of my connections. Bus, train, blah blah, boring commute. Lots of waiting, lots of showing my ID, lots of even more waiting…
But finally, the Eurostar! Hurray!! Let the adventure begin!
I claimed the wrong seat on the Eurostar… It took me a full hour to realise that the 12s everywhere meant I was in coach 12. I was supposed to be in 11.
Commence the next hour of neurotically checking every person who passes by and bracing for them to tell me off for being in the wrong spot. No such thing, nobody seems to care. Although some weird glances my way. Maybe that had more to do with me eating crisps in a very quiet train.
But finally, I set my first foot on UK soil. Unfortunately, it was just one foot. Halfway down the train, I realised this was the wrong stop. Oops. I awkwardly backed into the train and sat down in my wrongly claimed booth. Did I mention I had a four seats all to myself? Poor people I chased away…
15 minutes of shame later, I got off at the right station. I found out how simple life can be in London. Trains that go under the ground are called ‘the underground’. Trains that go over the ground… You guessed it right, I didn’t, they are ‘overground’.
I got terribly upset nobody told me to mind the gap, but I minded it anyway. I figured falling onto the rails wasn’t a great start.
But fuck yes, finally arrived at the Airbnb. And found out how different the locks and doors are here in the UK. What way do they turn? Why don’t they just lock? Why does the doorhandle go up and down? And why don’t they make the telltale click?
Oh, the mystery. The questions…
Thank you for having me London, but I’m going to bed. You’ve exhausted me already.